Gamer (2009)

A seat of the pants action ride through the not so distant future foreshadowing the next level in gaming that will bring new meaning to the saying, "you don't live to play... you play to live."

From the duo who brought us both in-your-face installments of Crank, Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor are at it again with this near future gaze into a society completely enveloped in the digital realm. Michael C. Hall (Dexter) plays the megabillionaire playboy Ken Castle who has the word at his fingertips, literally. After plans fell through on a government project he was working on, he took the technology mainstream and has integrated it into two of the biggest entertainment crazes the world has ever seen. The first being a live action version of "The Sims", where you can live your life through another person and do all sorts of whacky things. The other, live action first person shooter deathmatch tournaments where death row inmates volunteer their lives in hopes of surviving long enough to be set free. Enter Kable, played by Gerard Butler (300, RocknRolla), who is the games main phenomenon... on the verge of his release. Controlling him, is a 17 year old gaming wonderkid named Simon (Logan Lerman, 3:10 to Yuma, Hoot). Unfortunately for both, Castle has no intention on letting any of this get out of control. But if Kable wants to survive to see the outside of prison, and get back to his family, he'll have to use Castle's technology against him and free the will of the world.

For any fan of online FPS games, you must check this flick out. In the respect of technology, gaming, action, FX... this movie is a giant success. Sadly, there were lots of flaws elsewhere int he movie that really kept me from using my bias towards these type of movies to the fullest. Okay, so all those good things, the only thing better was that it had a half decent cast. Not only the main players, but adding in Kyra Sedgwick, Ludacris, and Terry Crews... not to mention a cameo by John Leguizamo... you'd have expected a better level of acting than what was being done. Outside of the action scenes, the camera work seemed really sloppy and choppy. And there were so many jump near the beginning, this and that going on, it was hard to follow. And you'd be retarded not to compare this move to Death Race, more specifically the remake with Jason Statham in it. Basic overall plot... same. It's a fine, entertaining movie... just don't go in expecting something oscar worthy and you'll come out happy.

6.4/10

Rated: R
95 mins

Jennifer's Body (2009)

A fun, seemingly aimed at fans of campy Horror/Comedies of the 80's that will surely leave the guys drooling and the girls pitted against Jennifer because "she's evil... and not just High School evil."

Karyn Kusama (Æon Flux, Girlfight) directs this new generation of High School horror starring Megan Fox (Transformers, How to Lose Friends & Alienate People) as Jennifer, the number one hottie from the small town of Devil's Kettle, MN. SHe convinces her less than gorgeous BFF Needy, played by Amanda Seyfried (Mamma Mia!, Mean Girls) to go out to a local dive bar where a small time band called Low Shoulder is having a show. Seemingly right away Jennfer is put in a trance by the band, and as a pyrotechnic "accident" occurs and the place burns down, with many locals dieing, Jennifer and Needy make it out alive, and right into the arms of the band. Suspecting no good, Needy heads back home while Jennifer is off for a night with the band... resulting in her untimely sacrifice to Satan himself as the band attempts to trade a life for fame. But Jennifer is alive... and now the young boys of Devil's Kettle are on the menu for the newfound demon inside her, included is Needy's boyfriend Chip (Johnny Simmons, Hotel for Dogs, Evan Almighty). Is Needy just going crazy? Or does she really need to save him from an early death at the hands of her long time friend... by taking matters into her own hands.

I'm not going to lie... my rating below, heavily weighted on the sexiness of one Ms. Megan Fox. This movie was slated as a Horror/Comedy... I found it neither scary nor funny. I felt the story was pretty original though... botched sacrifice resulting in hungry (and devilishly sexy) Succubus who terrifies town... nice. Lots and lots and lots of things missing throughout the movie, and I doubt they were added in the 5 mins extra on the UR version. I enjoyed seeing my boy Josh Emerson in the flick, though he may be becoming quite the typecast for the HS jock role. J.K. Simmons and Amy Sedaris rounded off the supporting cast I was familiar with. The gore and effects were good, production value was there... I guess it's just the fact it really wasn't that great of a movie. But I'd watch it again to see Megan and Amanda make out one more time.

6.0/10

Rated: R
102 min | 107 min (unrated version)

Inglorious Basterds (2009)

An epically curious view of the plight of the French Jews during the occupation and a wonderfully bold vision of the undercover attempts at bringing down the Third Reich... and if you're in the business of killing Nazis, "business is a-boomin'."

"Once upon a time in Nazi occupied France..." That's the tagline of director Quentin Tarantino's (Kill Bill, Death Proof) massive WWII story revolving around two plots to take down the Nazi leadership... one from a US CIA black op led by one Lt. Aldo Raine who is played by Brad Pitt (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Burn After Reading), the other from a revengful, nazi loathing Jewish girl named Shoshanna, played by Mélanie Laurent of French film fame, who's family was slaughtered in the countryside by Nazi SS Col. Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz), the "Jew-Hunter." Aldo's band of Jewish-American merrymen keep busy ravaging Nazi patrols all throughout France by using a terror technique learned from the Apache Indians of North American to instill fear and doubt. Eli Roth (Director of Hostel, Cabin Fever), plays the "Bear Jew" who has become a mythical, bat wiedling creature reading to bludgeon to death the entrenched Nazi's . As it turns out, both plots to destroy the Third Reich intertwine as Shoshanna becomes the object of affection for a young German soldier named Fredrick Zoller (Michale Fassbender), who also happens to be starring in a movie about his heroism... this leads him to get his movie premiered at the very theater Shoshanna now owns and operates. At the same time, Diane Kruger (National Treasure) plays a German actress who is a spy for the US/UK and working out plans to blow up the theater while the event is occuring. Shoshanna has other plans...

Amazing movie, really. Automatically in my Top 5. The dailog is expertly written, and executed in the same regard. The characters were fun, believable, and easy to connect with. The story, for this subject matter, couldn't have been any better. My only real blah thing about the movie is what gets me about most Tarantino movies, the music. I don't know, maybe it's just me... but I guess it wouldn't be a Tarantino movie if the score was done just like every other movie. It's a tad lengthy, but I hardly noticed. Oh, and this isn't for kids, so please... it has an R rating for a reason.

8.2/10

Rated: R
153 mins

Aliens in The Attic (2009)

Beings from another planet visit earth, and they aren'ton vacation like the Pearson's. A clean fun, family picture that'll keep the kids entertained.

John Schultz (The Honeymooner's, Drive Me Crazy) directs this family story where Stuart Pearson (Kevin Nealon, SNL) decides to take his family on a much needed vacation to a lakehouse. His son Tom (Carter Jenkins) has been a bit rebelious lately and they just aren't seeing eye to eye. His daughter Bethany (Ashley Tisdale, High School Musical) is your stereotypical all engrossed High School teenager who's dating, and hiding the fact that he's "older", Ricky (Robert Hoffman), a Ken to her Barbie and seemingly perfect guy... to everyone but Tom. The kids in the house stumble upon a group of aliens who've just landed on Earth with the intention of taking it over. The wild bunch of kids team up to outsmart the small statured beings and defend Earth from an invasion no one else knows about.

Not only did the Human of Earth not hear about the invasion, most of us probably didn't hear about this movie. I guess if you don't watch Disney channel with your rugrat you wouldn't. And I still don't get why we continue to see SNL funny people in redicilous roles that even myself, not even an actor, would pass up on (I lie, I'd take it in a heartbeat!). Tim Meadows, I shed a tear for you. Acting was crap, over the top and stupid. "The Tiz", yeah, her cuteness can't carry a movie, so why they didn't invest in some people with a little talent is beyond me. The special effects and aniamtion of the aliens was all pretty good, no complaints with that. For those of us in the "not a kid anymore" category, pass this one up... unless of course you have kids, then by all means sit down with them and show some interest in their little world.

5.2/10

Rated: PG
86 mins

All About Steve (2009)

"Crossword puzzle constructor Mary Horowitz is smart, pretty - and a natural disaster that shakes news cameraman Steve to the core..."

TV director Phil Trail brings up this major release romantic comedy starring Sandra Bullock as the word wielding, eccentric beauty Marry Horowitz who after years of being single and living at home, and with the help of some very rude but enlightening children, has decided it's time to get a man. That's where Steve (Bradley Cooper, The Hangover, He's Just Not That Into You) comes strolling in after being set up blindly by their parents. Immediately Marry is infatuated and overcome by her bottled up sexual frustrations. Steve catches on quick and realizes he needs to leave, and leave now. Rolling camera alongside disaster news reporter Hartman Hughes (Thomas Haden Church, Spider-Man 3, Sideways), Steve is constantly on the move and feels it'll be a clean break. To his dismay, Marry is not jobless, and has nothing better to do in life but pursue his love, wherever it may go. But when a sinkhole appears from nowhere and Marry is trapped, cligning to life, Steve begins to re-evaluate his priorities and think about what he's doing to Marry. Disaster turns into love as Ken Jeong and DJ Qualls aid in handing out laughs in this delightful date movie that you might just take something away from.

If for no other reason than the message behind the movie... you know, basically that whole don't judge a book by it's cover deal... see this movie. It's cute, vibrant, and just fun to watch. All others need not apply. Sandra Bullock was super cute and well Bradley Cooper... I can't remember a thing he said in this movie. It could have been All About Hartman and just left Steve at home.

5.2/10

Rated: PG-13
99 mins

Breach (2007)

Happening shortly after the attacks of September 11th, 2001, and inspired by the true story of the greatest security breach in U.S. history," this film will leave you wondering how something like this happened.

Billy Ray (Shattered Glass) directs this compelling tale of one of the darkest events in the US intelligence circles. Ryan Phillipe (Crash, Gosford Park) stars as Eric O'Neill, a relative newbie in the FBI who is gunning for a chance to make Agent. After months of watching, following, watching, following... his opportunity comes up when Agent Kate Burroughs (Laura Linney, Mysic River, The Life of David Gale) approaches him with a case of utmost importance. Now he finds himself under the employ of FBI Intelligence genius Robert Hanssen (Chris Cooper, The Kingdom, THe Patriot), a man he idolizes and has much respect for. Initially brought in under the preconception that Hanssen is a sexual deviant and possiblt involved in an international sex ring, Eric soon realizes there must be much more to this if the Bureau is so hush-hush and secretive about what's going on in Hanssen's day to day. The FBI's top intelligence man has vaulted himself to the top by being just that, and sharing his knowledge with a cold-war foe. It's just up to Eric O'Neill to reel him in and destroy a man who has spent his lifetime in service to his country... er, another country.

I picked this movie up after looking through a friend's movie collection and seeing it... I asked about it since I had never heard of it. They said it was good... and they were not wrong. I honestly don't even remember the press about this story, probably still too much overkill for 9/11, but wow. A great re-telling of an actual event with really superb acting. Ryan Philippe always does a heck of a job, definitely one of the better young actors floating around... a shame we don't see him more often. If you're one of those CSI or Law & Order watchers, this will be a sure hit.

8.0/10

Rated: PG-13
110 mins

The Reaping (2007)

Centuries old plagues are spooking a small community, and the girl they suspect of bringing about the evil is the only one with the key to their salvation.

Hilary Swank (P.S. I Love You, Million Dollar Baby) stars in this Stephen Hopkins (Lost in Space, The Ghost and The Darkness) directed film as Katherine, a renounced Christian missionary who now works to debunk religious miracles as simply scientific phenomena. Along with her assistant Ben (Idris Elba, Obsessed, The Unborn), they visit a small Louisianna bayou town at the request of the town's priest, Doug (David Morrissey, Derailed, Basic Instinct 2), who believes that perhaps they are being smitten with Biblical plagues. Surrounding all the controversey, the town blames a young girl named Loren (AnnaSophia Robb, Race to Witch Mountain, Jumper) for all the strange occurences. But not only is Loren responsible for the plagues, but the town itself is responsible for Loren, as Katherine uncovers their dark secret fights with her own beliefs to determine if what's happening is really going on.

Surely I find myself in the majority of people who saw this movie expecting complete crap, and were amazed and how bad it isn't. Still not great, not a "must see"... but definitely a "watch if don't have anything better." I really enjoyed the modern twist on the age old plague story, and this story is not something that would be deemed out of place for the setting... I could actually believe it. Decent acting with a well rounded cast with good production value seemed to really go a long way for this film.

5.7/10

Rated: R
99 mins

Avatar (2009)

An advanced romp through a distant land of unimaginable splendor... made imaginable and brought to life right before your eyes.

Mega-movie director James Cameron (Titanic, True Lies) unleashes his massive imaginative of Jake Sully (Sam Worthington, Terminator Salvation), a recently paralyzed marine, who after his brother is killed, is persuaded into filling in where his brother left off as a member of a group of scientists lead by Dr. Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver, Baby Mama, Vantage Point), who are studying the local Na'vi people by "driving" human/Na'vi engineered beings. These bodies allow them to remotely control and interact with the alien environment and the local inhabitants. At the same time a greedy, power and money hungry corporation, with the help of the military, is trying to evict the locals and rape the planet of it's natural resources. Lead by Jake and his newly found love of the Na'vi people, specifically of Neytiri (Zoe Saldana, Star Trek), he organizes and fights with the locals to repel the human invasion.

I'm not alone in this, but seriously... BEST MOVIE EVER!!! The acting, perfection. The special effects, supreme. The story... unoriginal? That's right, I said it. But it's kind of like FernGully... just done in live action and with super amazing visuals. I was lucky enough to watch this opening night in 3D IMAX, and I must confess that it is the ONLY way to see it. On your standard screen, I really can't see it having the same awe inspiring effect. This is a movie I'd seriosuly pay to see over and over again, and even once more to buy it on Blu-Ray.

9.3/10

Rated: PG-13
162 mins

Dance Flick (2009)

Nothing is sacred as the Wayans clan spoofs another sub-genre of cinema in their signature style.

Damien Dante Wayans directs his bretheren in yet another campy comedy from the spooftastic family of actors/comedians. The story revolves around a naive young girl named Megan (Shoshana Bush, Fired Up!) who almost gives up a life in dancing, after her mother dies in route to her Juliard audition, when she meets Charity (Essence Atkins, Deliver Us from Eva, How High) and her brother Thomas (Damon Wayans Jr.) at Musical High. Thomas, the attractive boy from the other side of the tracks, is involved in street dancing competitions, and after finding out about Megan's dancing past, he wants to enlist her in attempts to form the #1 dance group in town. There are lots of laughs to be had as the firt family of spoof throws out all the punches by taking from all of your favorite dance movies of the past ten years: Save The Last Dance, Step Up, Stomp The Yard, Honey, and You Got Served.

Some folks out there say this is one of the better spoof's to come out lately, and well, that may be. But seriously, these movies need to stop, they suck. It's only marginally fun to try and pick out the movies they are making fun of, and the slapstick nonsensical comedy is truly below average. But it's a spoof, I guess they are supposed to be that way. I really don't have much else to say about it. If you can keep from seeing it, hats off... but if it happens to find it's way on to your screen, may god have mercy on your soul.

4.8/10

Rated: PG-13
83 mins

College (2008)

A juvenile, hilarious foray into yet another college, party orientated movie that is sure to draw similarities to others in the past few years.

Deb Hagan produces this freshman comedy about three high school guys, Kevin (Drake Bell, Disaster Movie), Carter (Andrew Caldwell, Drillbit Taylor) and Morris (Kevin Covais, American Idol 2006 Top 12) who are in their senior year and realizing that perhaps they have happened to have missed out on all the fun. After being dumped by his g/f, Kevin gathers the guys for a trip to his prospective school and prepare himself for the next step. However, after shacking up with a campus fraternity and experiencing a life he never knew was possible, he meets sorority girl named Kendall (Haley Bennett, The Haunting of Molly Hartley) who makes him rethink his priorities. They guys spend a weekend in hell as they step the beat of the raunchy frat guys and put their friendship to the test.

You know, I gave this movie a pretty low score, but don't let that keep you from seeing this. It seriously had me cracking up throughout the entire thing. The lead, Drake Bell, yeah, I could do without him, he belongs back on Disney. But Caldwell, that kid is genius. If he hasn't taking acting cues from watching classic Chris Farley, then I don't know where he gets it. And really? Chicken Little from American Idol... the role was perfect for him. But except for a few good comedic performances, this movie is just the next in line of your basic high school/college comedies. Easily compared to the likes of Old School and Superbad to some golden oldies like Animal House or Porky's. So the lack of originality combined with the lackadaisical approach to the movie on a whole really kept this from being a standout. However, if you're evening calls for "titties and beer", watch this and go to sleep with a smile on your face.

5.7/10

Rated: R
94 mins