The Chaos Experiment (2009)

Tensions are high, and the temperature higher as a group of single and looking adults finds out that "chaos begins when the heat rises..."

The topic of Global Warming just got hotter in this Phillipe Martinez directed story or a disillusioned and discredited professor going by the fake name of Jimmy (Val Kilmer, The Saint, Willow) strolls into a news office in the middle of the night demanding his paper on global warming be published... or else. Confessing that he has six people trapped in a steam room somewhere in the city, he vows that unless he is published, these people will meet their fate by cooking to death. It's up to Detective Mancini (Armand Assante, American Gangster, Judge Dredd) to figure out if this seemingly psychotic suspect is telling the truth, if he's talking in past tense, or if this is all going on in the mans head. The supporting cast, lead by Patrick Muldoon (Stigmata, Starship Troopers) and Megan Brown, really start to feel the heat as tensions rise, and lives are lost.

Wow, the second craptacular Val Kilmer suckfest I've seen in the past 10 days. Anyone who thinks Kilmer actually did a good job in the role should be shot. Kevin Spacey would have nailed this role, but oh right, he's probably busy making movies that don't suck. Maybe that's being unfair, Spacey's character in Seven was what this genre is all about, so it's a rash comparison. But the psychological reasons and the setup of the deaths are so much like Seven and the Saw series, it's hard not to go there. You know what really killed me, how many effing slow motion fades where there? I mean damn, couldn't someone get a little more creative with the editing? The only parts worth watching were in the steam room, if you could get passed how quickly they all broke down and the terrible dialogue. One thing, Eve Mauro, such a hottie. If you're up for a quick T&A fix, watch it just for her. And lets not forget Rico from Judge Dredd (I love that movie!) is in it... or maybe you should. Just kidding, Armand does alright, can't fault him for crappy writing, that's not his job. If I can say one thing positive that's not nudity related, it's got a pretty good twist near the end.

4.2/10

Rated: R
90 mins