Jennifer's Body (2009)

A fun, seemingly aimed at fans of campy Horror/Comedies of the 80's that will surely leave the guys drooling and the girls pitted against Jennifer because "she's evil... and not just High School evil."

Karyn Kusama (Æon Flux, Girlfight) directs this new generation of High School horror starring Megan Fox (Transformers, How to Lose Friends & Alienate People) as Jennifer, the number one hottie from the small town of Devil's Kettle, MN. SHe convinces her less than gorgeous BFF Needy, played by Amanda Seyfried (Mamma Mia!, Mean Girls) to go out to a local dive bar where a small time band called Low Shoulder is having a show. Seemingly right away Jennfer is put in a trance by the band, and as a pyrotechnic "accident" occurs and the place burns down, with many locals dieing, Jennifer and Needy make it out alive, and right into the arms of the band. Suspecting no good, Needy heads back home while Jennifer is off for a night with the band... resulting in her untimely sacrifice to Satan himself as the band attempts to trade a life for fame. But Jennifer is alive... and now the young boys of Devil's Kettle are on the menu for the newfound demon inside her, included is Needy's boyfriend Chip (Johnny Simmons, Hotel for Dogs, Evan Almighty). Is Needy just going crazy? Or does she really need to save him from an early death at the hands of her long time friend... by taking matters into her own hands.

I'm not going to lie... my rating below, heavily weighted on the sexiness of one Ms. Megan Fox. This movie was slated as a Horror/Comedy... I found it neither scary nor funny. I felt the story was pretty original though... botched sacrifice resulting in hungry (and devilishly sexy) Succubus who terrifies town... nice. Lots and lots and lots of things missing throughout the movie, and I doubt they were added in the 5 mins extra on the UR version. I enjoyed seeing my boy Josh Emerson in the flick, though he may be becoming quite the typecast for the HS jock role. J.K. Simmons and Amy Sedaris rounded off the supporting cast I was familiar with. The gore and effects were good, production value was there... I guess it's just the fact it really wasn't that great of a movie. But I'd watch it again to see Megan and Amanda make out one more time.

6.0/10

Rated: R
102 min | 107 min (unrated version)

The Reaping (2007)

Centuries old plagues are spooking a small community, and the girl they suspect of bringing about the evil is the only one with the key to their salvation.

Hilary Swank (P.S. I Love You, Million Dollar Baby) stars in this Stephen Hopkins (Lost in Space, The Ghost and The Darkness) directed film as Katherine, a renounced Christian missionary who now works to debunk religious miracles as simply scientific phenomena. Along with her assistant Ben (Idris Elba, Obsessed, The Unborn), they visit a small Louisianna bayou town at the request of the town's priest, Doug (David Morrissey, Derailed, Basic Instinct 2), who believes that perhaps they are being smitten with Biblical plagues. Surrounding all the controversey, the town blames a young girl named Loren (AnnaSophia Robb, Race to Witch Mountain, Jumper) for all the strange occurences. But not only is Loren responsible for the plagues, but the town itself is responsible for Loren, as Katherine uncovers their dark secret fights with her own beliefs to determine if what's happening is really going on.

Surely I find myself in the majority of people who saw this movie expecting complete crap, and were amazed and how bad it isn't. Still not great, not a "must see"... but definitely a "watch if don't have anything better." I really enjoyed the modern twist on the age old plague story, and this story is not something that would be deemed out of place for the setting... I could actually believe it. Decent acting with a well rounded cast with good production value seemed to really go a long way for this film.

5.7/10

Rated: R
99 mins

Seventh Moon (2008)

"According to Chinese myth, the dead are freed to walk among the living during the seventh full moon." Creepy enough for you?

From the director of The Blair Witch Project and Altered, comes yet another romp in the woods as American newlyweds Melissa (Amy Smart, Mirrors, Crank) and Yul (Tim Chiou) are in China to visit Yul's family. It just so happens to be at the time of the traditional Hungry Ghost Festival. After spending a day in the city, they fall asleep as their tour guide Ping (Dennis Chan, Kickboxer) leaves them stranded just outside a remote village. From here on out they learn that many Chinese who leave offerings, seemingly silly in fact, believe all too well in the horrors that awaits those who don't.

You know, except for a few things, this movie really appealed to me. It wasn't your typical Japanese horror type flick, and though I love those, I still liked this one. They used the supernatural myth idea seen in many of the genre, but it seemed to be more suited for a Western audience if you know what I'm saying. Acting was okay, "baddies" were extremely creepy and real, music helped tone and pace the film... but camera work, it could have used a freakin' steady cam or something sheesh. The movie overall got the blood pumping with the intensity of some of the scenes where you were sure they would be caught, excellent suspense. For a bargain bin horror movie, you can't go wrong here.

A little side note regarding the basis of the story. The Chinese Ghost Festival, which very much is celebrated in the same way as Mexico's Dia de Los Muertos (Day of The Dead) and in a way comparable to our Halloween here in the US, is generally held on the 14th day of the 7th lunar month (of the Chinese Calendar). It's a day where the living leave offerings and pay respects to their ancestors. The offerings are usually burned, and the smoke carries the gifts to the deceased in the heavens. Other traditions involve leaving paper lanterns out at night to guide lost spirits to their resting place.

6.5/10

Rated: R
87 mins

The Hills Run Red (2009)

Having similarities to other movies in the genre is not always a bad thing, and this handsomely bloody flick proves that imitation is the best form of flattery.

In this finely tuned death-fest, Dave Parker directs the story of Tyler (Tad Hilgenbrink, Disaster Movie, American Pie Presents Band Camp), a film student obsessed with a long lost, ultra-taboo film that he vows to himself to unearth and bring credit where credit is due. After finding the now grown-up little girl from the movie, and the directors daughter Alexa (Sophie Monk, Spring Breakdown), Tyler volunteers his girlfriend Serina (Janet Montgomery, Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead) and his buddy Lalo on a expedition traveling to the scenes found from production stills and the only known footage of the movie, the trailer. Alexa leads them through middle of nowhere, dense forest in search of the house where she spent her childhood, and where daddy kept all his film stuff. But between bad news locals and a demented, real life killer who's kept the movie going for all these years, who will be the last to survive and bring new light to the lost horror?

It's so much fun watching these straight to video movies, and though hoping for the best, you expect the worst. Thankfully this one landed in the "for the best" category. It started off slow, but after finding Alexa, the movie really picked up to a watchable pace. The acting, though not A-class, was pretty standard of a B film so I was happy with that. The cinematography and music really, really helped frame the situations, without it, this movie could have been a dumper. From first glance of the cover, you might think The Hills Have Eyes... well the title is the only similarity to it. This movie has more in common with Wrong Turn than anything else. The gore and special effects were pretty sweet, I can only think of one scene where it didn't look believable. The twist at three quarters through was pretty predictable, but the last five minutes are pretty insane, in the clinical sense.

6.7/10

Rated: R
81 mins

The Thaw (2009)

Think "The Thing" and you'll be left out in the cold. Think, worthwhile, interesting film, and you won't get much warmer.

Mark A Lewis directs the inevitably compared to "The Thing" story of a group of scientists, lead by Dr. Kruipen (Val Kilmer, Red Planet, The Saint) who stumble across a long frozen parasite that infects organisms and brings about a rather painful death. For an unknown reason, Kruipen allows a group of students, who are inadvertently are accompanied by Kruipen's daughter Evelyn (Martha MacIsaac, The last House on The Left) to venture out to the tundra laden, isolated base camp where they uncover the grizzly truth about what's been going on. Debating between getting help, or staying put to keep the parasite from spreading, they battle each other as one by one they succumb.

This film really had potential, but a few, well... more than a few things held it back. One, the acting... blegh. Though Val Kilmer did not play a lengthy role, he sucked for the time he was there. Most of the supporting cast really didn't support much, let alone their own weight. I thought Martha MacIsaac and Aaron Ashmore were half decent however. The story was very slow moving, too much for my taste, and it really didn't add much ya know, it's been done. Unless you're a germ-a-phobe (so it might actually scare you), or someone really into parasite invading human type movies, this is just an average, B movie that I'd recommend passing up for something you'll remember the next day.

5.9/10

Rated: R
94 mins

Trick 'r Treat (2008)

"Poison, Drowning, Claw, Or Knife. So Many Ways To Take A Life." An amazing, multifaceted holiday themed film full of dark humor and think-for-yourself terror. Sure to become a yearly screener for Halloween parties everywhere.

Michael Dougherty directs a patchwork of stories that loop around and become one during a relative small towns' amazing Halloween celebrations. "Nothing is what it seems when a suburban couple learns the dangers of blowing out a Jack-o-Lantern before midnight; four women cross paths with a costumed stalker at a local festival; a group of pranksters goes too far and discovers the horrifying truth buried in a local legend; and a cantankerous old hermit is visited by a strange trick-or-treater with a few bones to pick." "The rituals of All Hallows Eve were devised to protect us from their evil mischief, and one small town is about to be taught a terrifying lesson that some traditions are best not forgotten."

This is the first review I've ever NOT written the above summary/synopsis for on my blog. I usually like to use my own words to best describe what happened. But in this case, Warner Bros. said it best, and I really couldn't have done any better to portray to you what this movie was all about.

I first remember seeing this movie on the shelves at Wal*Mart quite some time ago, and passed it off as just another straight to DVD crapfest. Well let me tell you, this movie is arguably the best Halloween themed movie EVER. It's a travesty that this film was not in wide release at theaters all over. It really was perfect, and that's no exaggeration. The acting, cinematography, special effects (non CGI mind you), the story, the music... it was all perfect. Classified as horror, I can tell you not to expect any torture-porn style gore or anything like that. The story itself and the situations are enough to bring the fear. I'm not really sure how else to convey to you that this is a MUST SEE, no matter what the season... and if you see it on your next trip to Wally World, spend the few bucks, you'll be glad you did! And I mean come on, "The Kid" from Bad Santa is in it, what more can I say!?

As a side note, I wanted to point out a few names of the actors in the film. As it's not your standard movie with one or two stars, but a plethora of stories each led by their own "star." So here goes: Anna Paquin (TrueBLOOD), Brian Cox, Dylan Baker, Tahmoh Penikett (Dollhouse), Quinn Lord, and Brett Kelly.

8.6/10

Rated: R
82 mins

The Shortcut (2009)

A tasty teen horror where an old man with a dark secret will make you heed the warning of the next "No Trespassing" sign you come across.

Half a century ago some teens go missing after taking a shortcut through some dense woods on private property, and a legend is born. This is the setting of Nicholaus Goosen's (Grandma's Boy) horror thriller where some curious teenagers lead by Derek (Andrew Seeley), are off to explore an old man's private land after his brother is threatened in the woods after being dared to take the shortcut. Teaming up with a high school football player, Taylor (Josh Emerson), who is in search of his missing dog, they head off for some answers. There is little time for teen romance while friends come to grizzly ends as little do they know that the old man has a secret he's been hiding for years, and it's worth killing for.

Lots of unjust reviews for this film. However, I personally thought it was pretty average, which is way better than what a lot of people have said. Straight off, for a non theater released B movie, the acting and production value was feature film quality. I was pleasantly surprised. It was nice seeing Josh Emerson, who I just recently saw in a small part in I Love You, Beth Cooper, have a larger role with more substance. The story was your basic old scrooge who keeps to himself so beware type, but with a few twists near the end that really helped set it apart. Typical of the genre? Absolutely, but you could do a lot worse.

6.6/10

Rated: PG-13
85 mins

Orphan (2009)

In what first appears as another possessed child knock-off, Orphan delivers an unexpectedly suspenseful drama that not not only throw you for a loop, but make you think twice about adopting.

John (Peter Sarsgaard, In The Electric Mist, The Skeleton Key) and Kate (Vera Farmiga, Nothing But The Truth, The Departed), not of the "plus 8 variety", recently lost a child at birth. But wanting to extend that love to a child in need, they decided to adopt, and add another member to their family. Jaume Collet-Serra (House of Wax) directs the story as they visit a small home for girls and adopt Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman) who turns out to not be as innocent as she lets on. Mysterious injuries, deaths, and threats all surround Esther and she plays the family in a manipulative manner not unlike that of a master puppeteer. But she's only nine year old... right? "Can you keep a secret?"

Horror movie right? Well sorta... it's more suspenseful than really what you might classify as a horror flick, and the direction really plays to it. The music really helps bring you to the edge of your seat before unleashing what's around the corner, if anything at all. The movie, because of the twist which is supremely original, was totally not what I expected, and I mean that in a good way. It's hard really to express how I really feel about the movie without giving it away, but just know I thoroughly enjoyed it. The acting was executed perfectly, even by the children, and the cinematography was encompassing. This movie really goes through the list pertaining to the emotions it instills: Sorrow, Grief, Fear, Rage, Disgust and plain 'ol WTF!?

Sit down with a friend and watch this perverse take on a familiar story, it'll leave plenty to talk about afterward. Recommended to everyone, unless you're in the market for a new kid.

8.5/10

Rated: R
123 mins

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

In a new twist to the longtime battle of good and evil, Drag Me To Hell adds yet another chapter to the fear driven mayhem and blood curdling screams of a genre already saturated with ghouls and goblins.

Sam Raimi (Spider-Man, The Grudge) directs the story of Christine Brown (Alison Lohman, Gamer, Flicka), a loan officer at a small bank branch, who is striving to get ahead in life and prove to everyone she isn't just some hick from back on the farm. In her duties, and need of a promotion, she's prompted to deny an elderly lady as she implores to save her home. In doing so she is taunted towards insanity by a supernatural force summoned by the shamed old woman. Along with her boyfriend Clay (Justin Long, He's Just Not That Into You, Waiting...) she seeks the help of a seer to banish the demons and reclaim her life before dark forces drag her to hell.

I wanted to see this movie the moment I saw the trailer online months ago. It looked enticingly intense and evil as can be. Glad i wasn't disappointed! The opening sequence is enough to give children nightmares for years. The moments of the movie where Christine fights to stay sane, both mentally and physically, are eerily realistic and bone chillingly tense. Justin Long added his snarky, typecast self to his role as Christine's boyfriend, and it worked. It usually does with him, but I thought it may have been a stretch this time. Thankfully his character provided the sound minded contrast to the main character's openness of the unseen and supernatural. I really thought the last twenty minutes were going to be as predictable as let on, but they movie excelled at misdirection, keeping you on your toes for that next moment. This helping should easily satisfy the appetite of horror fans waiting for the next big scare.

7.3/10

Rated: PG-13
99 mins.