Aliens in The Attic (2009)

Beings from another planet visit earth, and they aren'ton vacation like the Pearson's. A clean fun, family picture that'll keep the kids entertained.

John Schultz (The Honeymooner's, Drive Me Crazy) directs this family story where Stuart Pearson (Kevin Nealon, SNL) decides to take his family on a much needed vacation to a lakehouse. His son Tom (Carter Jenkins) has been a bit rebelious lately and they just aren't seeing eye to eye. His daughter Bethany (Ashley Tisdale, High School Musical) is your stereotypical all engrossed High School teenager who's dating, and hiding the fact that he's "older", Ricky (Robert Hoffman), a Ken to her Barbie and seemingly perfect guy... to everyone but Tom. The kids in the house stumble upon a group of aliens who've just landed on Earth with the intention of taking it over. The wild bunch of kids team up to outsmart the small statured beings and defend Earth from an invasion no one else knows about.

Not only did the Human of Earth not hear about the invasion, most of us probably didn't hear about this movie. I guess if you don't watch Disney channel with your rugrat you wouldn't. And I still don't get why we continue to see SNL funny people in redicilous roles that even myself, not even an actor, would pass up on (I lie, I'd take it in a heartbeat!). Tim Meadows, I shed a tear for you. Acting was crap, over the top and stupid. "The Tiz", yeah, her cuteness can't carry a movie, so why they didn't invest in some people with a little talent is beyond me. The special effects and aniamtion of the aliens was all pretty good, no complaints with that. For those of us in the "not a kid anymore" category, pass this one up... unless of course you have kids, then by all means sit down with them and show some interest in their little world.

5.2/10

Rated: PG
86 mins

Avatar (2009)

An advanced romp through a distant land of unimaginable splendor... made imaginable and brought to life right before your eyes.

Mega-movie director James Cameron (Titanic, True Lies) unleashes his massive imaginative of Jake Sully (Sam Worthington, Terminator Salvation), a recently paralyzed marine, who after his brother is killed, is persuaded into filling in where his brother left off as a member of a group of scientists lead by Dr. Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver, Baby Mama, Vantage Point), who are studying the local Na'vi people by "driving" human/Na'vi engineered beings. These bodies allow them to remotely control and interact with the alien environment and the local inhabitants. At the same time a greedy, power and money hungry corporation, with the help of the military, is trying to evict the locals and rape the planet of it's natural resources. Lead by Jake and his newly found love of the Na'vi people, specifically of Neytiri (Zoe Saldana, Star Trek), he organizes and fights with the locals to repel the human invasion.

I'm not alone in this, but seriously... BEST MOVIE EVER!!! The acting, perfection. The special effects, supreme. The story... unoriginal? That's right, I said it. But it's kind of like FernGully... just done in live action and with super amazing visuals. I was lucky enough to watch this opening night in 3D IMAX, and I must confess that it is the ONLY way to see it. On your standard screen, I really can't see it having the same awe inspiring effect. This is a movie I'd seriosuly pay to see over and over again, and even once more to buy it on Blu-Ray.

9.3/10

Rated: PG-13
162 mins

Race to Witch Mountain (2009)

The fun, thrilling, family adventure scf-fi flick that you never saw!

Andy Fickman (She's The Man, The Game Plan) directs this soon to be family, live action classic from Disney in which an ex wheel-man, now gone straight as a Las Vegas taxi driver named Jack Bruno (Dwayne Johnson, Get Smart, The Game Plan), inadvertently picks up a couple bizarre kids who are in a big hurry to get somewhere. Along the way, Seth (Alexander Ludwig) and Sara (AnnaSophia Robb, Bridge to Terabithia, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) reveal themselves as children from a distant planet who have come to retrieve a device that is capable of saving their world from dieing. Being tracked by not only a secret US government agency similar to the "Men In Black", the kids must fight for their lives as they try and outrun an alien assassin sent from their home planet with orders to take them out. Enlisting the help of the denounced scientist Alex Friedman (Carla Gugino, Watchmen, Sin City), they race to Witch Mountain to reclaim their ship and make it back home before it's too late.

So if you didn't know, this film is a remake... well not re"make", but re-imagining of the 1975 film Escape to Witch Mountain. So apparently it's been done. But for what's it's worth, this movie is a lot of fun, filled with plenty of action for Dad, an adult romance for Mom, and two kids who can do all sorts of cool stuff! Though the film opened at #1 in the box office when it came out, it fizzled quickly. I don't think I know a single person other than me who has seen it. But if you fall into that category, you're missing out on an hour and a half of entertaining cinema. Now sure, the acting is well... come on, it's The Rock for eff's sake, but would you have rather they stuck Vin Diesel in the role? Didn't think so, but I'm pretty sure Vinny's got another Disney movie or two on his contract, so I'm sure he was considered. Good special effects and nice work behind the lens was more than enough to keep the acting and redone script from drowning. Grab some popcorn and a drink, and spend a few with the kids... enjoy.

A side note. In the bar scene, the waitress and the sheriff, they played the roles of Sara and Seth in the original 1975 film.

6.2/10

Rated: PG
98 mins

The Thaw (2009)

Think "The Thing" and you'll be left out in the cold. Think, worthwhile, interesting film, and you won't get much warmer.

Mark A Lewis directs the inevitably compared to "The Thing" story of a group of scientists, lead by Dr. Kruipen (Val Kilmer, Red Planet, The Saint) who stumble across a long frozen parasite that infects organisms and brings about a rather painful death. For an unknown reason, Kruipen allows a group of students, who are inadvertently are accompanied by Kruipen's daughter Evelyn (Martha MacIsaac, The last House on The Left) to venture out to the tundra laden, isolated base camp where they uncover the grizzly truth about what's been going on. Debating between getting help, or staying put to keep the parasite from spreading, they battle each other as one by one they succumb.

This film really had potential, but a few, well... more than a few things held it back. One, the acting... blegh. Though Val Kilmer did not play a lengthy role, he sucked for the time he was there. Most of the supporting cast really didn't support much, let alone their own weight. I thought Martha MacIsaac and Aaron Ashmore were half decent however. The story was very slow moving, too much for my taste, and it really didn't add much ya know, it's been done. Unless you're a germ-a-phobe (so it might actually scare you), or someone really into parasite invading human type movies, this is just an average, B movie that I'd recommend passing up for something you'll remember the next day.

5.9/10

Rated: R
94 mins

District 9 (2009)

Filled with sociological satire, this Sci-Fi thriller hits a deep one to center in a visually pleasing home-run that's sure to appeal to a broad audience.

Neill Blomkamp directs this story of a ginormous space ship full of malnourished aliens appearing over Johannesburg, South Africa. Initially welcomed and cared for, an ever growing populace is beginning to burden an already disheveled human existence. The refugee camp where the aliens are located has deteriorated into a militarized ghetto called District 9, where they are confined and exploited in squalor. Multi-National United is then sent in to forcibly evict the population with operative Wikus van der Merwe (Sharlto Copley) in charge. In this operation, Wikus is exposed to a strange alien biochemical, and must join forces with the "Prawns" not only to cure himself, but save their species from destruction on earth.

Why did I never see this in the theater? It would have been worth my $10! It was supremely enjoyable, more so from the middle to the end, but that completely makes up for the beginning. In what felt marketed to me as a Sci-Fi Horror movie, this film really gets its message across. What is portrays of who we are as humans is despicable to say the least, and damned near 100% true. As great as the movie looks and feels, sadly it left me with just so many questions. Where did they come from? What are they exactly? How do they understand English? How do we understand their language? They are bigger, stronger, and more technologically advanced then us, so how have we banished them to India-esque slums without retribution? As aggravated as I was, having connected with the main characters by the end, I got it. My eyes were opened, and I now see what needs to be done... watch this!

8.1/10

Rated: R
112 mins

Land of The Lost (2009)

Movies made from TV shows usually can't hold their own. Especially those made from old TV shows... old TV shows that they themselves didn't last very long, though well received they may have been. But in spite of that, Land of The Lost shines with the humor we've come to expect from it's stars while bringing new life to a thirty year old classic.

Brad Siberling (Lemony Snicket, City of Angels) directs this outlandish romp through a parallel dimension where shunned theoretical scientist Rick Marshall (Will Ferrell, Step Brothers, Semi-Pro), his swooning admirer Holly (Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies) and their uneducated, redneck of a cave guide Will (Danny McBride, Tropic Thunder, Pineapple Express) are transported to a world where "past, present and future mash up together." With the help of primate like being, they travel the land in search of the device that brought them here, and ultimately, can bring them home. Against all odds facing starved, monster mosquitoes and intellectual Tyrannosaurs, they must come face to face with the Sleestak not only to get home, but to save the world as they know it.

Had I gone on my gut, or listened to any general reviews of this movie, I wouldn't have wasted my time. But being out here floating in the Gulf of Mexico you tend to watch things you normally wouldn't. But this is one of those rare occasions where I'm 100% happy I went against the grain. From start to finish this movie does what all movies intend, entertain you. It's no blockbuster, but it's completely engrossing and a pleasure to watch. Will Ferrell delivers exactly what I've come to expect and Danny McBride compliments him beautifully. The story seems to fast forward in some places, leaving you wondering why or how something might be going on, but it's subtle enough to allow you to get past it and continue on enjoying the humor which is intended for adults. That's one thing that threw me off. From the previews it appears to be geared towards children, but believe me, between the homosexual, psychedelically induced sleep pattern and the rest of the sexually charged humor, this is no kids movie. So go out and watch this with an open mind, and allow yourself to laugh, you'll be glad you did.

7.1/10

Rated: PG-13
102 mins

Star Trek (2009)

Reinventing a classic is not an easy task to do, but Paramount gives us a young, star studded vision in to the hit series, enduring for nearly 40 years, that doesn’t disappoint.

A time traveling evil is on the loose and an unsuspecting Starfleet crew is going to encounter the toughest test their have young crew has ever faced. J.J. Abrams (Cloverfield) directs this epic tale chronically the evolution James T. Kirk (Chris Pine) as he enter the Academy and reluctantly follows in the footsteps that led to his father’s untimely death. Alongside his academic foe, Spock (Zachary Quinto), who will later become his greatest ally, he fights to stake claim to his destiny and save the future for all inhabitants of the universe. The strong supporting cast (Bruce Greenwood, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana, John Cho and Simon Pegg) all contribute their roles as the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise as she sets out to defeat Nero (Eric Bana) and to “explore strange new words, seek out new life-forms and civilizations, and boldly go where no one has gone before.”

Not being a fan of Star Trek, let me start by saying I absolutely loved this movie. So much so I’m going to buy it, and I don’t do that often. I’ve had little exposure to series, but enough through pop culture references and my time spent in Iraq to be aware of the overall story and base characters. I’ve seen two other Star Trek movies (Nemesis and Insurrection) and they both fail in comparison to the grand scale of this one. The young cast, in most cases coming from smaller rolls or TV, does an amazing job of bringing the the characters and their subsequent development to life. The cinematography and special effects will surely compete in the awards at seasons end and I look forward to perhaps a sequel? True Star Trek fans might tear this flick apart, but for us casual folk who just want our $10 worth, you can’t go wrong. Not a fan of Star Trek? Not a fan of Sci-Fi? Don’t worry, you’ll like this movie as it spans many genres and appeals to more than just one group.

8.8/10

Rated: PG-13
127 mins